The world according to Bob Maue

My dad would be 94 years old today. In honor of his birthday, I’m remembering some of my favorite Bob Maue quotes:

1. If you keep watching Batman, you’re going to turn into a moron.

2. Why don’t you play it slowly until you learn it, and then you can play it fast?

3. Take the spoon out of that glass, or you’re going to put your eye out.

4. (In “sympathy” for my falling down the stairs): If you didn’t wear such dumb shoes, that wouldn’t happen.

5. (Also in “sympathy” for my falling down the stairs): If you wouldn’t come down the stairs in your stocking feet, that wouldn’t happen.

6. The sun is over the yard-arm. (Meaning it’s past 5:00, and therefore, cocktail time.)

7. If that guy had a propeller on his head, he could fly. (Said about a certain former pastor of our church, who will remain nameless out of respect.)

8. In response to my mom’s question, “If Ann-Margret came to the front door and asked you to run away with her, would you go?”: I’d have to think about it.

9. Jesus Christ, why can’t you let the clutch out slowly? (After about 5 stalls in a row, as I was learning to drive a stick shift in the Knoebel’s parking lot.)

10. While you’re up, get me a beer, would you?

I miss you, Daddy.



Filed under Family, Funny Things, Gratitude

6 responses to “The world according to Bob Maue

  1. Carolyn

    so true. #11 would be: (to Walmart employee): “If you were a box of nails, where would you be?”

  2. Deborah Maue

    That’s another great one! I also forgot, “I have an idea. Why don’t all the women clear off the table and put the dishes in the sink. And then wash them.”

  3. seth

    During the Maui Maui game at the Cottage, where no swearing was allowed during play, Uncle Bob called a point of order or time out, simply to state, “I hate this DAMN game!” What a gem of a person he was.

  4. Deborah Maue

    I had forgotten that anecdote, Seth. It’s a great one. Thanks for the reminder.

  5. Margaret

    I always remember when we would be at the cottage and he’d let us turn the radio to a pop station for an hour or so (instead of classical, Sousa marches or baseball) and then he’d mock the songs, saying they all sound like, “Baybeh, baybeh, baybeh” (baby, baby, baby).

  6. Diane

    Your dad was among the sweetest (and funniest) men I’ve ever met. I sure miss him!
    My own father would have been 103 today! I miss him too. Diane

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